Ernie Von Schmaltz

As I’m sure you can tell, I’m a ladies man. Love the ladies. I really enjoy treating the ladies to a real man; a real man that can perform. You ladies like a man that can perform, dontcha? I can be seen performing, seducing women and taking off my clothes all over Seattle and surrounding suburban swing clubs. I’ve turned chicks on at The Pink Door, Columbia City Cabaret, Theatre Off Jackson, The ReBar, The Rendezvous and what used to be Leilani Lanes…(please a moment of silence for my favorite bowling alley…RIP).

I’ve been entertaining the women publicly since the middle of 2005, but I have been satisfying in private since the beginning of time…